I miss you.
From time to time I catch myself thinking of you. Thinking of how every time I needed you, you where there. I’ve caught myself a time or two wanting to tell you something or imagining what your reaction would be. We had such an odd friendship filled with a lot of love and sometimes even some hate. You never failed to call me out and tell me the things I needed to hear but didn’t want to. I know your heart was as deep as the ocean and you truly wanted the best for me. I loved you for that. I loved your smile and how it was as wide as your face. Your eyes would shine as blue as the sky. Today, as I thought of you, I remembered the plans you had for your future. Then I had the painful realization that you would never get to see those plans unfold. My heart breaks thinking of your unfinished life. The moment I heard something had happened to you I genuinely didn’t believe it. I even messaged you to ask if you were okay. I prayed you would open that message and tell me I was being ridiculous. That nothing was wrong. That message was never opened. Left unread. The day of your funeral, a small yellow butterfly found its way to a pink rose in front of my window. I’ve always had an affinity for butterflies and the meaning of them. For those who don’t know, yellow butterflies reflect friendship. Something in my heart knew that little butterfly was sent to me on purpose. One of the last times I spoke with you, you told me that no matter what and no matter how long we went without speaking you would always be there for me. I know that’s still true. Since that moment, I have known you are okay. I know you are eternally happy, but I still miss you. I miss my friend. Today I pray that one day I will see your smiling face again.